The Adventures of Retard and Dorkus
by Sorairo Ryuu
Summary: [COMPLETE]Inuyasha and Sesshomaru... ARE INSANE! This is an insane, freakish fic! They both play Hi Ho! Cherry-O, Sesshomaru has naked barbies... and they're cuddling Kagome's and Kagura's undergarments! To top it all off, they worship lightbulbs!
1. Adventure

The Adventures of Retard and Dorkus  
  
By Dragon's Damnation  
  
Disclaimer: I own Inuyasha! Chayah right, and dogs break dance and cats sing I'm Too Sexy for my Shirt!

* * *

A/N: Prepare for you favorite silver haired brothers to completely lose their sanity!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!

* * *

Inuyasha: _is sitting cross-legged on floor_  
  
Sesshomaru: _sitting cross-legged beside him, mumbling random cuss words and stroking the fluffy  
_  
Inuyasha: _turns head and looks at Sesshomaru_ "Dude, chicks dig my ears."  
  
Sesshomaru: "So what, guys dig my fluffy!"  
  
Inuyasha: ".........guys... WHAT THE FUCK?!"  
  
Sesshomaru: "Wait, I didn't mean that! I meant chicks dig my fluffy!" '_Damn... one guy hits on me... and look what happens..._'  
  
Inuyasha: "Suuuuuuuuuure..."  
  
Sesshomaru: ...........................  
  
Inuyasha: _jumps onto feet_ "Hey, you wanna scare the living hell out of the nurses?!"  
  
Sesshomaru: _jumps up_ "Okey-daisies! Hey, got peanut butter?!"  
  
Inuyasha: _randomly looks at floor_ "Don't you wonder why this whole room is padded?" _jumps up and down, marveling at how he can bounce on the squishy floor  
_  
Sesshomaru: "Yah, I was wondering that too..." _runs around and hits a wall  
_  
Inuyasha: "Well, Miroku said it was the Idiot Pen... Rin said it was the Loony Bin... and Souta said it was the Happie Hotel..." _shrugs and runs into a wall... and manages to get stuck in the padding _"Cwull! Wum wuck win wa wall!"  
  
_(A/N: He said 'Cool! I'm stuck in the wall!')  
_  
Sesshomaru: "Well, I likey dah Happie Hotel!" _runs into a glass window that the people look at them through  
_  
Inuyasha: _suddenly pops out of wall and turns on random radio and sings along_ "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?! WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO?!" _starts break-dancing on floor  
_  
Sesshomaru: "Hn. I don't like peanut butter." _switches radio to opera and sings along  
_  
Inuyasha: _frowns and puts it on a country station_ "I'M A REDNECK WOMAN, AIN'T NO HIGH-CLASS GAL!"  
  
Sesshomaru: "YOU'RE A WOMAN WITH A RED NECK?! HOLY SHIT, MY BROTHER IS MY SISTER!!!"  
  
Inuyasha: "YOU'RE FINE TO TALK! YOU WEAR MAKE-UP!"  
  
Sesshomaru: "SO WOULD YOU IF YOU BECOME A FULL-FLEDGED YOUKAI!"  
  
Inuyasha: _suddenly goes back to their original conversation_ "I already got the best magnets out there." _points to dog ears  
_  
Sesshomaru: "So do I..." _strokes fluffy_ "It gave me my beloved nickname, Fluffy-kins."  
  
Inuyasha: "Yeah, well, when girls see my ears twitch, they come running and squealing! They go," _suddenly speaks in a slutty girl voice_, "'Oh my gosh! It's like, Inuyasha! Inuyasha, will you sign my bra?!?'"  
  
Sesshomaru: "Well, chicks ask me to sign their thongs."  
  
Inuyasha: _holds up random thong_ "So, Kagome gave me this after the car crash before the people in white coats took us away. She said the huggle this every night before I go to bed so I'll be reminded of how much she loves to rub my ears!!!"  
  
Sesshomaru: "Onomatopoeia!!!"  
  
Inuyasha: "WOOT SWOOSH BOOM!"  
  
Sesshomaru: _pulls out random bra_ "Oh yeah! Kagura gave me her bra so that we can remember our special day!" _cuddles bra  
_  
Inuyasha: holds up pink box with a princess on it "Let's play Pretty, Pretty Princess!"  
  
Sesshomaru: "No, let's play Barbies!" _holds up random naked Barbie_  
  
Inuyasha: "No, let's play Hi Ho! Cherry-O!" _holds up red box with trees and cherries on it  
_  
Sesshomaru: "Okey-daisies!"  
  
So, the two brothers adventured into the world of Hi Ho! Cherry-O, and learned how to count... after all, it's the child's first counting game.  
  
Inuyasha: "What comes after four?"  
  
Sesshomaru: "If you tell me, I'll tell you what comes after three."  
  
Inuyasha: "What comes after three?!"  
  
Sesshomaru: "Why a google-plex of course!"  
  
Inuyasha: "Then after that comes one!!!"  
  
Sesshomaru: _sounds like the brat from Lilo & Stitch_ "Yeah."  
  
Inuyasha: "Then after one, fives comes!"  
  
Sesshomaru: _nods  
_  
Inuyasha: "Why was six afraid of nine?"  
  
Sesshomaru: "OOoooooooOOOOhh...... why?!"  
  
Inuyasha: "Cuz nine ate seven!" _rolls on floor laughing_  
  
Sesshomaru: "That was soooo funny, I farted!"  
  
Inuyasha: "Sweet!"  
  
Sesshomaru: "Totally."  
  
Inuyasha: _sees a glare on the glass window Sesshomaru had hit earlier_ "Shiny..."  
  
Sesshomaru: _gasps_ "How it glitters and sparkles in the light!"  
  
Inuyasha: "All hail the wonderful light bulbs!" _bows  
_  
Sesshomaru: "They rule all."  
  
Inuyasha: "It has chosen us to shine upon."  
  
Sesshomaru: _nods  
_  
Inuyasha/Sesshomaru: _both fall on faces_ "WE'RE NOT WORTHY!!!!"  
  
Inuyasha: "Praise King Glowy Light Above Square! He makes all things in this room sparkle and shine! What a beautiful, paradisey kingdom we live in!"  
  
Sesshomaru: "Unworthy!!! We are unworthy!!!"  
  
Inuyasha/Sesshomaru: _fall on faces again_ "WE'RE NOT WORTHY!!!!"  
  
The lights above them suddenly flickered out and the two stood and stared at the dark places where the light once was.  
  
Sesshomaru: "We've... been cursed!"  
  
Inuyasha: _shudders  
_  
Sesshomaru: "This is frightening... it's evil!"  
  
Inuyasha: "Righteous."  
  
Sesshomaru: _grabs him by shoulders and shakes him_ "They're coming for us!"  
  
Inuyasha: "Oh my God, we're DOOOOOOMED!!!!!!!"  
  
Sesshomaru: _eyes widen_ "They want to kill you!"  
  
Inuyasha: _eyes widen to coconut size and he screams like a girl  
_  
Sesshomaru: "Run Inuyasha! Run beloved brother!"  
  
Inuyasha: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " _runs all around room  
_  
Sesshomaru: _covers ears  
_  
Inuyasha: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " _finally hits the glass window from the observation room and knocks self out  
_  
Sesshomaru: _walks over to him and pokes him_  
  
Inuyasha: _bites his finger while he's still unconscious  
_  
Sesshomaru: _looks at observers while his finger is still being devoured_ "That's why we let sleeping dogs lie."

* * *

Hope you laughed! Be watching for the next part! Oh, these little insanities are only one chapter apiece, so this is it for this fic. I will do review responses in the next part. Plus... just taking a poll here: Who can tell me which one is Retard, and which one is Dorkus?

* * *

The next part is called:  
  
Return of Retard and Dorkus  
  
Be watching for it! 


	2. What's Coming

Hey guys! Are you ready for another round of Retard and Dorkus? Hah hah, yup. It's coming soon!

So, what exactly IS going to happen in the next serving of stupidity?

...**reviewers of the first story are going to be included.  
**My friend and I selected certain reviewers/authors to be seen in the next "episode". We do not mean to offend them in any way whatsoever.

...**Here is the list**:  
j,mmnjnn  
duh  
Moose  
White Rose Archer  
Fiery Demon Fox  
NekoNoodles

...**rap battles**

...**spinning**

...**they meet: PEOPLE**

...**they…ESCAPE**

...**Sesshomaru goes drag**

...**Inuyasha goes happy with CDs**

...**people get run over**

...**Inuyasha gets his claws on… DRUGS**

Here'sa scene….

* * *

Inuyasha: "Ya-huh!"

Sesshomaru: "Nu-uh!"

Inuyasha: "Ya-huh!"

Sesshomaru: "PHONE!"

Fiery Demon Fox: "WTF!"

Shippou: "Oh for the fucking love of the Magical Staff of Gandalf!"

Inuyasha: "Tch, you just using dat phone… chewing on the ends just like a bone! Well lemme tell you sumthin, ya stupid mutha' fucka', when it comes to rappin', you's just a fat-assed sucka'!"

Sesshomaru: "Well at least I wasn't strapped to a fuckin' tree, until I reached the age of fifty-fuckin'-three! And I don't need a fucking dead chick-a-dee— to relieve myself of fuckin' urges from bein' fuckin' manly!"

Naraku: "I say bring it nice and fast cuz I got the urge, ka-pitch! So, c'mon, gimme the fuckin' fluff, Sessho-bitch!"

Fiery Demon Fox: "Alliteration!"

Shippou: ¬¬ "that's it, I'm gonna go play bullshit with the Nai Chikin."

NekoNoodles: _pushes in a cart of muffins _"Hey guys, I got some muffins for ya'." _Looks up at Sesshomaru and waggles eyebrows _"Wanna butter mine?"

Sesshomaru: _Grabs Fiery Demon Fox and NekoNoodles. Looks at NekoNoodles _"You're my bitch" _looks at Fiery Demon Fox _"and you're my bitch!" _Looks at Inuyasha _"'Ey, fuckyou Inu!" _watches Shippou's game of bullshit and flips the table over _"Yeah, your game was sucking ass…"

* * *

Be ready, cuz it's coming!…. well…. Only to get you…. WOO 


End file.
